Howdy.

In our ongoing demographic researches (that is, our weekly poll), we have discovered several new facts about our readers which we now present to you: our readers quote the Bible (75%) and pop music (44%). They do not dress up for Halloween (88%). They enjoy cooking their own dinner (60%). They do not typically wear sports jerseys (89%), which are expensive, but do enjoy sports.

And of course, most important to us, our readers continue to take our polls; this week’s can be found here.

Now for our big announcement of the week: we are happy to share with you a draft of our first issue’s cover. View it here. This is a draft which is subject, of course, to change, and with a placeholder illustration (for now). As things continue to come together for the first issue we will continue to share them with you. Let us know what you think.

As always, feel free to send us questions here or newsletter items (especially your prayer requests) here. Follow us on Twitter at @thelampmagazine.

Numbers:

• McDonald’s recently-fired CEO, Stephen Easterbrook, will be given a severance package worth almost forty-two million dollars.

• The state of California has seized over one and a half billion dollars in “illegally grown” marijuana.

• Microsoft Japan introduced a four-day workweekthis summer, and reported both a drop in various costs as well as a forty percent productivity boost.

• Krispy Kreme has agreed to partner with a Minnesota student who had been driving two-hundred fifty miles in order to independently resell its donuts.

***

• BBC reporters have discovered active slave markets, mostly located in Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, posting advertisements and even negotiating sales on Instagram and other Apple- and Google-approved apps.

• A Manhattan judge has vacated the new HHS rule, set to go into effect in 2 weeks, that would extend conscience protections to doctors and nurses asked to perform abortions. The rule would have permitted the HHS to withhold federal funding from institutions that did not extend these rights of conscience to their employees.

• China has introduced a gaming curfew for minors, prohibiting those under 18 from playing online between the hours of 10pm and 8am. The new rules also limit the amount of time spent gaming each day (90 minutes on weekdays, 180 on weekends) cap the amount children can spend on games per month.

• Coca-Cola is launching a new drink: a line of flavored, caffeinated seltzers called “AHA,” to be sold beginning next March.

Lines:

The world’s a stage. The trifling entrance fee
Is paid (by proxy) to the registrar.
The Orchestra is very loud and free
But plays no music in particular.
They do not print a programme, that I know.
The cast is large. There isn’t any plot.
The acting of the piece is far below
The very worst of modernistic rot.

The only part about it I enjoy
Is what was called in English the Foyay.
There will I stand apart awhile and toy
With thought, and set my cigarette alight;
And then — without returning to the play —
On with my coat and out into the night.

– Bᴇʟʟᴏᴄ

***

The road to En-dor is easy to tread
For Mother or yearning Wife.
There, it is sure, we shall meet our Dead
As they were even in life.
Earth has not dreamed of the blessing in store
For desolate hearts on the road to En-dor.

Whispers shall comfort us out of the dark
Hands—ah God!—that we knew!
Visions and voices—look and hark!—
Shall prove that the tale is true,
An that those who have passed to the further shore
May’ be hailed—at a price—on the road to En-dor.

But they are so deep in their new eclipse
Nothing they say can reach,
Unless it be uttered by alien lips
And I framed in a stranger’s speech.
The son must send word to the mother that bore,
‘Through an hireling’s mouth. ‘Tis the rule of En-dor.

And not for nothing these gifts are shown
By such as delight our dead.
They must twitch and stiffen and slaver and groan
Ere the eyes are set in the head,
And the voice from the belly begins. Therefore,
We pay them a wage where they ply at En-dor.

Even so, we have need of faith
And patience to follow the clue.
Often, at first, what the dear one saith
Is babble, or jest, or untrue.
(Lying spirits perplex us sore
Till our loves—and their lives—are well-known at
En-dor). . . .

Oh the road to En-dor is the oldest road
And the craziest road of all!
Straight it runs to the Witch’s abode,
As it did in the days of Saul,
And nothing has changed of the sorrow in store
For such as go down on the road to En-dor!

– Kɪᴘʟɪɴɢ

The mail:

In response to Cᴀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴇ’s question on the Dominican rite chant propers, Tʀᴇᴠᴏʀ, Aᴀʀᴏɴ, and Jᴀᴋᴇ all recommend the this website; an anonymous poll respondent adds this one. In addition, Eʟʟᴇɴ suggests calling St. Patrick’s parish in Columbus, Ohio, which regularly offers Dominican Rite masses, and speaking to the pastor or choir director there.

Nɪᴄᴏ writes: “I’d appreciate the prayers for those of us living in Southern California under hurricane-grade winds without the rain, as well as the first responders doing honestly heroic work fighting the fires. My parents were among the first to evacuate from the Easy Fire after it started in the hills across the street from my childhood home. Amazingly, their entire neighborhood was saved, even as the fire burned all the way down the hill next to them. A priest friend of mine also had his parents be forced to evacuate from the Getty Fire. This has been the worst Santa Ana wind season I can remember in awhile. And they only seem to get worse these days.”

We ask readers to pray also for the intentions of the Holy Father, and for those who struggle with sins against chastity.

— W.B., M.W.