Hello.

Subscriptions to the magazine can be purchased here for sixty dollars. Note: We are still accepting subscriptions through the end of this week. If you order now you will still receive the first issue when it ships. We also have plans to offer single-issue sales for those who do not want or are not able to purchase a full year’s subscription. More to come on that soon. If you can think of anyone in religious life who might enjoy a free copy or you have any questions about subscriptions, please send us an email at subscriptions@thelampmagazine.com.

***

Last week’s poll results: our readers think of the time they spend working each day as jobs (twenty seven percent), professions (twenty percent), careers (seventeen percent), vocations (twenty eight percent), gigs (three percent), and none (all of five percent!). More than half (fifty six percent) rent their dwellings, while the rest (forty four percent) own them.

Our readers have lately enjoyed the following movies (a mere sampling): Little Women, 1917, Parasite, Robin Hood (Disney), Laurence of Arabia, Elf, The Juggler of Notre Dame, Joker, Mystic River, It’s a Wonderful Life, Ford v. Ferrari, War of the Worlds, The Lighthouse, Barcelona, Braveheart, Toc Toc, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, The Third Man, Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The Muppet Christmas Carol, Knives Out, Koyaanisqatsi, A Serious Man, The Godfather, Anna and the Apocalypse, Citizen Kane, Fiddler on the Roof, Chimes at Midnight, The Irishman, Togo, The Highwaymen, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, Loveless, Incendies, Deux Jours, une nuit, Ernest & Célestine, True Grit, Moneyball, Road to Morocco, Dr. Mabuse the Gambler, The Thin Man, The Story of the Last Chrysanthemums, Bridge on the River Kwai, The General, Babette’s Feast, Interstellar, Death of Stalin, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Roman Holiday, How to Steal a Million, City of God, Extremely Wicked Shockingly Evil, The Shoes of the Fisherman, A Hidden Life, White Christmas, Twelfth Night, Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker, Heaven is for Real, The Talented Mr. Ripley, A Hidden Life, Frozen 2, Back to the Future, The Help, Joyeux Noël, Hot Fuzz, and The Parent Trap.

This week’s poll can be found here.

***

As always, feel free to send us questions here or newsletter mailbag items (especially your prayer requests) here. Follow us on Twitter at @thelampmagazine.

Numbers:

• More than forty-one thousand people marched through the streets of Paris to protest a new government bill that would federally fund in-vitro fertilization for lesbian couples and single women.

• The Spanish bishops’ conference has moved to adopt an optional three-year marriage preparation program, in an apparent effort to reduce the country’s divorce rate (now nearly sixty percent).

• A recent survey furnishes readers with interesting details about the lives of American bishops: on average, they work about ten hours per day, sleep six and a half hours per night, and spend one-hundred eight minutes in daily prayer.

• The Russian population may be thirty percent Muslim by 2030.

***

News:

• Philadelphia has a new archbishop: Bishhop Nelson Perez of Cleveland, who will be installed on February 18.

• The coronavirus outbreak in China’s Wuhan provice has been quarantined, and while there have been a few cases in other countries, the World Health Organization does not believe the virus is spreading within those countries.

• Scientists believe they have recreated the voice of a three-thousand year old mummy by 3D-printing its voicebox.

• The United Kingdom has passed its Brexit bill.

• Jeff Bezos’s recent trip to India was met with protests, mockery by the Indian minister of finance, and a snub by the Prime Minsiter.

• The hacking of Bezos’s phone may have been masterminded by the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, according to UN investigators.

Lines:

This world nys but a thurghfare ful of wo,
And we been pilgrymes, passynge to and fro.
Deeth is an ende of every worldly soore.

[This world is nothing but a thoroughfare full of woe,
And we are pilgrims, passing to and fro.
Death is an end of every worldly pain.]

— Cʜᴀᴜᴄᴇʀ

***

Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies,
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower—but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is.

— Tᴇɴɴʏsᴏɴ

***

And the pleasant water-courses,
You could trace them through the valley,
By the rushing in the Spring-time,
By the alders in the Summer,
By the white fog in the Autumn,
By the black line in the Winter;
And beside them dwelt the singer,
In the vale of Tawasentha,
In the green and silent valley.

— Lᴏɴɢғᴇʟʟᴏᴡ

We recently received the following letter from an old and devoted reader:

Sirs,

For reasons beyond my understanding, the fine clients whose personal ads I placed in your publication a few months ago received barely a nibble of romantic interest from your subscribers.

However, I believe that my vocation is too important to let the rejection of a few unfortunate souls close off opportunities to the many, many lovely men and women who have requested my services. Below are ads for two of my newer clients:

“Our client, a 28 year-old woman, loves her ‘hekkin cute pupper.’ She seeks a man with a similar unsettling attitude toward domesticated canines. Other interests include checking The Toast’s homepage daily—despite knowing that no new content will be available to read—and asking why the Western Church (her phrase) doesn’t have female deacons when the Eastern Church has them.”

“Our client, a 24 year-old man, seeks a woman who can manage his total inability to act normally toward the opposite sex. His hobbies include opting to sit in the same pew as pretty young women at daily Mass despite the availability of empty pews nearby, walking into conversations at Young Adult events in which he knows no one and laughing at inappropriate times, and Crusader Kings II.”

I have no doubt this eligible bachelor and bachelorette will be to your more discerning subscribers’ liking (not THAT kind of discerning, obviously).

Yours,

Mr. D. Randall Hornby

Principal, Conjugal Matchmaking Services
CEO, Crazy Randy’s Passenger Van Emporium

***

Another reader writes: “For anyone close to Pittsburgh, here is a Valentine Mass for Valentine’s Day.”

We ask readers to pray for all mothers who have miscarried, including one friend of the magazine, for all children recently born and baptized, for victims of natural disasters, for the homeless and other marginalized persons, for all bishops, and for the intentions of the Holy Father.

— W.B., M.W.